Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
