Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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