She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
