Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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