Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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