i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
