one might say we're banned from that church
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He has the fingertips of a God
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
