all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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