guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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