they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups