So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.