Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start

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(410): View more from Maryland

you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.

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(256): View more from Alabama

I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.

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(941): View more from Florida

my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(314): View more from Missouri

I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...

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(253): View more from Washington

These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.

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(254): View more from Texas

I think people are normalizing furries

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