why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
COCAINE IS GR8
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died