I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win