i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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