I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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