If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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