i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Randomize
