Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
