So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Randomize
