I wish i was in the wii world.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
i think my cat just said my name.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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