That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
