Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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