shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
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He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
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i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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