His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
