i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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