Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize