I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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