I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I would ride that face into the sunset
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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