she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
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I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
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The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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