He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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