You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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