My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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