how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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