You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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