I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
