dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
