I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
