is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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