please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It's never too late to be topless.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
