He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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