Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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