he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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