Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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