my mouth tastes like poor choices
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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