I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Your dad touched me again.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize