I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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