Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
