You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
