Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
