so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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