i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just found puke in my bra..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize