so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
