i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
