oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
sarcasm needs its own font
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
