they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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