Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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