ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
