I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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