sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
