his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Couch. On fire.
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