3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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