i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
