My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
