Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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