does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I party with great urgency now.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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