I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
