he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
