Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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