i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
