Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
