Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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