So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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