i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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